Winter Reds, not Blues

Our Yuletide Camellia is in bloom just outside our front door right now and I am stuggling to find the energy I need in order to do the same thing. Sometimes I wish that my own bloom could just pop up one day, on queue, with no fuss and maybe a little boost of fertilizer. For years now it seems that new medical problems have appeared almost daily. Each one bringing with it problems I never seem to be prepared for, but this winter, things aren't too bad. I simply wish that I had the ability to stay stable enough now for a schedule that might be consistant and steady. Life becomes very difficult when you are living with chronic illness and all you dream of is a little bit of time away from yourself and the pain. It is hard to imagine what you put others through, but in my case, I couldn't be luckier. My husband is wonderful and we both seek out solace in the soil. Maybe next Christmas I too will bloom and beat the camellia to its punchline. Then again, maybe it will happen sooner.