Taming the Beasts

Snow on a big leaf Rhododendron.

The snow beast roared its tiny little head this morning. Now it's gone. 

That was the easiest beast to tame this past week although the cold temps are still sticking around—unlike the snow. 

Just about finished with the seed starting spreadsheet for 2013. I think I'll be starting about 450 different types of seeds. The bowl of basmati rice pudding with almond milk, raisins and orange flower water really helped me get to the end of the project this year. It was a great reward for a difficult job.

My seed sheet is now complete and is accessible by clicking on the link above.

It was a difficult beast to put down because I'm challenged by the fact I still don't know where my garden will be in the future. This beast is not yet purring but I will make it purr.

I know that I'm a woman who sorts seeds. It's what I do. Last year I didn't get to participate in this dull and slow process so doing it this year made me feel more like me.

Some people use Nyquil, others use Icelandic Schnapps.  

The flu is everywhere right now and I hope with all of my heart that I'm able to escape it.

So far, so good. I'd much rather watch others deal with this creature. It's not one I'm well equipped for, but I think with a bottle of this stuff, at least I wouldn't care if I caught it.

I have a friend who chose to use this medicinal treatment involving Icelandic Moss Schnapps (http://www.fjallagrasa.is/en). The moss used is actually the lichen Cetraria islandica but it was hard to tell just by looking at the shriveled and dried up chunk of plant life inside of the bottle.

This is the little fur beast who inspired this post. Sometimes animals shock and surprise us. This is my partially feral garden cat who, after 7 years of hiding in the basement, now demands to sleep with me at night. With the other two geriatric cats currently restricted to the main floor she is able to hop the fence and run upstairs to jump onto the bed each evening.

Having seen her as a feral cat for the past 7 years it's wonderful to see her change. Somehow she's broken through a trust boundary and I'm thrilled to see the change.

I cannot help but believe too that my newfound calmness and focus has helped her feel safer around me. Before, I believe I was far too frantic for her. Life has really changed a lot since the divorce.

She has changed too.

 

19th century vase with thistle, Japan. Portland Art Museum. 

I've been working diligently to feed the creative drawing and designing animal inside of me. It's strange to feel the craving in my belly for this sort of thing, but it's there and it's starving. 

As usual, I'm drawn more and more to Japanese designs. It fascinates me to no end to be so enamored of such simplicity when I'm such a complex and complicated person. As I enter into middle age I'm noticing that I crave simplicity more and more. I want to be at peace so I will feed the beast what it wants.  

Discovering low-sodium dried sardine dashi has made me very happy. Making a hearty miso soup has been a great boon during wintertime. 

Oh, and by the way, I simply cannot stop cooking. I guess I'm literally feeding the beast too!

2013 is going to involve more cooking and I hope to grow more produce. Of course I don't expect to grow it all myself but I want to make a concerted effort with those around me and in my gardening life to learn more about food. As someone with severe sensitivities it's now no longer such a chore and it has simply become more and more a way of being for me. 

I might as well do it very, very well—for my wellness and for me. 

Wordless Wednesday: Last week was cold and clear...

Garden Grief: Transitions

When we write we are always on the lookout for smooth transitions from one space on the page to another. We look for these movements in the writing of others, we look for these spaces in films, and we hear them in music. Transitions are all around us everyday and transitions are a way of life whether we like it or not.

PNCA: Pacific Northwest College of Art. 

This process appears over and over again throughout our lives: when we design our gardens, when we move across the country for a new job, or as in my current case, when we design our hopes and dreams into achievable goals. 

I've been moving more and more into re-designing my life again and I am looking at how to better transit in the days ahead to where I need to go. 

Floral Still (2012), Teresa Christiansen.

For me, I find that the space I return to again and again when I am in this frame of mind is the world of art. In it, I am able to find the peace and the calm I need to look deeper into my own grief. I am a happy person and art give me hope.

Enchanted Modernist (from the Botanical series), 2011, Kavin Buck. 

Since losing my garden is something I'm still grappling with, I have found that looking at works of floral art, or anything connected to the natural world in an artificial art gallery way, is enough to calm me down and this has helped me with my most recent decisions.

Together Forever (2012), Rachael Allen.

As I walked around the galleries at the art school, this piece was my favorite that evening. The idea of the clay mud and sticks appealed to me and it made me dig down deeper into myself and recall a time when I was inspired by love. 

Umatilla National Forest (2010), Melanie Potter.

Though not the best photo of this image, the forest being there surprised me a bit but I welcomed it. My lives overlapping on the walls of an art show made me feel the silence and warm sunshine on the bare shoulders I imagined having in my mind. Next summer I would be there.

It was nice to see artists returning to nature, and I know that this is always something that's done since it's between the city and the land that we find ourselves.

I'll be transiting soon, past my walls, past my garden, and I will be content to find myself. This journey I've been on will be coming full-circle and and within I think that the message will finally be that I am whole now, that I know myself better than I'd imagined, and that from hand will spring that which I will harvest in the future. 

Dear Gardeners; Happy 2013!

Here's to seeing more of the beauty in the world around us. 

Here's to creating more art and giving of ourselves to others. 

Here's to opening closed doors.

Here's to geminating the difficult seeds in our lives. 

Now get outside—even if it's only in your mind.