I certainly didn't see that one coming!
It all started just after I walked to see my ill friend in my last post. I'd seen my doctor the day before and she'd scheduled an MRI for me. That Friday I went in, had the scan done, and then we waited until Monday. At the worst, I was expecting a cortisone shot or some pain medications and rest. But then she called and told me I needed to see a neurosurgeon. Wha!?! She explained that the scan showed some bulging and other irregularities and she hoped I could get in to see the specialist soon.
I waited through another long weekend. I'd made an appointment for early Monday morning and honestly I was curious about what was going on. By then I was experiencing constant pain, numbness and a pins and needles sensation in my left arm. The pain was making me miserable so I stayed away from blogging. Instead, I worked on the garden even though I was hurting so badly. It kept me busy and I did see some great results. (More on that in another post.) Maybe it wasn't the wisest decision, but it helped with my worry too.
Dranunculus vulgaris looking lovely this year. |
My back has been a wreck for a long time and I honestly cannot recall when it all began. What I can say is that it's been getting worse and worse for the past few years and working outside has been exhausting for me.
The pain begins and I'm simply spent. I retreat indoors in defeat.
The front garden is partially a riot of color right now and I'm sort of in love with it. |
I found this Magnolia grandiflora 'Bracken's Brown Beauty' bloom in my garden the day of my surgery. It's my first and I'm a proud Mama. |
I also have high pain tolerance and that's become detrimental, hence, back surgery. This past year I've been more regularly declaring my back issues to my doctor and she seemed to agree that as long as I walked and stayed active it would cause less pain. I thought I'd been keeping it honest so-to-speak but I guess I still didn't describe my experience as accurately as I could have but I didn't stay silent either. I tried. I honestly tried.
Even when I did these preventative measure though, they didn't work. Or, I should say, over time they stopped working for me altogether. Things just kept feeling worse.
Lovely Begonia leaf. |
The back pain I felt—especially after returning from Italy—was different. I could barely stand up and I just wanted to cry. It was excruciating. Thinking things through, this sort of explained the urgency, but I still didn't really understand what was wrong with me and how it had happened.
Lovely Bletilla striata about to open. |
Ok, I got it. So I looked at him and said, "What do we do about it?"
Lathyrus sativus azureus. |
"Well, I recommend surgery," he said.
I'd expected a cortisone shot and this far exceeded my expectations. I was surprisingly both shocked and thrilled. Then I wondered how much longer I'd have to wait. I've never heard of anyone getting back surgery quickly. I just did not think it was possible.
"How soon will this happen?" I asked.
"Right away," he said and we walked down the hall to make the appointment at the front desk.
I was ecstatic when I found out I'd only have to wait 7 more days.
The front garden on the day of surgery. John and I both laughed at the lone orange lily in the boxwood hedge. |
I had one week to prepare for 1 month of little to no upper body physical activity. For a gardener in the month of June this isn't exactly easy when you're the primary gardener in the household. I'm working hard to recover quickly though. I can begin going on nice walks again soon and I'll focus on that first.
Many of my garden plans for this summer had to be folded up and put away but I didn't mind. I've never been so desperate to feel better and I was truly at the end of my rope.
Flowers John bought from Quinn in the City Flowers. These were just what I needed during my overnight stay in the hospital. |
The injury lingered and remained consistent throughout the divorce and remarriage. While working as a caregiver, it made my job impossible at times. I ended up quitting because of it.
A box of trial plants from Terra Nova Nurseries arrived the day I came home from the hospital. It felt a bit like Christmas. |
Ok, so what's the takeaway?
Honestly, I just want everyone to take care of themselves and to use caution when they're walking. I might be a klutz, but all it takes is some uneven ground and an unsteady gait. What I've also learned from this is that when I fell and broke my tailbone and two vertebrae many years ago, it's likely I caused light nerve damage in my legs and feet. This is likely how my balance has worsened along with my gait.
This is what a Posterior Cervical Laminectomy looks like a week after surgery. |
I'm fully committed now to returning to the gym to improve my life. I can't keep this up. I don't want to live like this anymore.
My nurse often sleeps on the job but he's been with me 24/7 this past week. |
There is no nerve pain currently in my left arm and my fingers are no longer numb. I can tip my head back to look at the ceiling and there's no stabbing pain from the pinched herniation. I've been dealing with that sensation for years and I won't miss it at all.
My view from bed could be worse. |
I'm so excited.
My life just keeps getting better and better. I'm so thankful. I just cannot say that enough.
St. Expeditus. |
So far, I think he's doing a great job, don't you?
Oh my goodness what a story........ Despite all the pain, your garden looks just stunning, love the frontgarden, the beautiful blue Lathyrus, the spectacular Dracunculus flowers, the Begonia leaf and the wonderful Magnolia flower. I really do hope you recover soon and can go into your garden soon again. Wish you all the best and in the meantime make yourself comfortable with reading lovely gardening books.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm recovering well and tomorrow the staples will be removed. I have to say that luxuriating in plant books is fun. I might even do some seed shopping.
DeleteYour situation sounds scary, but I am glad it looks to be turning around. I had suffered a herniated disc years ago that left me unable to work, garden, play with my son, or enjoy any kind of pain-free moment. Fortunately spinal steroid injections worked for me and no surgery was needed. Heal well, and soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy now whenever I hear about steroid injections working. That's fantastic it worked for you. Am trying to heal as quickly as possible. My garden needs me.
DeleteGod bless, my dear. I am a regular reader but somewhat of a lurker in my old age (80). You have lovely plants; I admire your west coast climate. Here in the Midwest many of your blooms require a greenhouse. I hope your health problems will resolve somewhat. I had decent health for many years, but strained myself, as you mention, digging, hauling, bending. Mainly I brought on arthritis--steel knees, plastic hip, etc. A nurse questioning me one time expressed surprise that I had been a college professor as my body indicated a more physical job. Not my job, my life! Anyway, I identify with your remark that having a high pain tolerance is not good. My current caregiver, my son, has decided that whether we call the squad or not will not be up to me in the future! Love your photographs and Italian travel narrative. I like to read about Sicily and reminisce about growing up in the Italian neighborhood of Schenectady with its marvelous restaurants where men in black suits ate lunch every day.
ReplyDeleteI think that your comment made my husband rather emotional tonight. It's comments such as yours that keep me going. Lurk away! I promise to be posting a flurry of posts in the upcoming weeks since I have time to finally catch up and I'm not in as much pain. There is more from northern Italy and a lot more plants too. Be well and thank you so much for commenting.
DeleteI love your attitude throughout this post, it's obvious your already feeling better. Here's to you being able to "Fling" in July!
ReplyDeleteI AM feeling better. Glad you could sense it and it's good to hear. Still can't hold my head up for more than an hour or so but each day I'm getting stronger. Will be Flinging soon and I might even post all the posts from Seattle I never posted. Why not!?!
DeleteYea for St. Expeditus! I'm glad you're feeling better. Obviously, some things were seriously out of whack. Yikes. The plants you posted look wonderful. Enjoy them and the flowers and your honey and the next step to a better you!
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